On Conflict and Beings Called Emily.

I currently have a new issue topping up the tiresome stress bucket which never leaves my reluctant grip and never completely empties. It’s a resurgence of an old issue which troubled me greatly some years ago and generated much conflict, and I don’t want to go there again because I’m tired of conflict.

Conflict has been one of the primary leitmotifs of my life, usually because my hallowed ground was being trodden on, or matters of value such as justice or high principles, were being trashed by lesser mortals in positions of authority. I didn’t win them all because hardly anybody ever does, but I did achieve the odd notable result here and there along the way. But now I’m tired of it.

You’d think the universe would be lenient, wouldn’t you. You’d think it would allow you a period of peace as you take your final faltering steps towards the terminus. Well, it hasn’t happened so far and I doubt there is very much further to go. I imagine myself in my final minutes arguing with some clinician or the harridan running a nursing home, and my last words being ‘I’m not prepared to put up with…’ before the curtain falls and I wait to see what, if anything, lies beyond.

*  *  *

I’m currently watching a film made seventeen years ago called Gideon’s Daughter. The titular role is taken by Emily Blunt, and what a revelation she’s proving to be. In her later roles she became a paragon of gorgeousness to match the very best, but she was usually skilfully made up to look her prettiest. In this film her face has been left relatively untouched by the make-up artist’s paint brush, and the difference is startling (at least to somebody like me who has always been critically aware of such matters.)

The strength of her eyes is positively augmented by the lack of camouflage, such that her stare could reduce a man of refined taste to his knees at a distance of several yards. And her demeanour might be said to be handsome to the very highest level of the term.

And there’s that name again: Emily. Odd that so many creatures called Emily have been the most potent in my life. I wonder why.