I assume she was named after the talking face of the
computer in the TV series Red Dwarf
which used to be a favourite of mine, a virtual woman whose thought processes
could be a little odd at times but who looked human and was perfectly capable
of rational appraisal and response. But there were two vital differences:
1. Today’s Holly had neither a face nor a voice and the
question was directed entirely through a keyboard.
2. Neither did she have a brain.
I’ve had this experience twice lately. This is what they do
these days: direct you to a cyber assistant which can’t think. It seems the
cyber assistant can recognise certain key words, presume to know what you’re
asking, and then respond from a list of FAQs. Only the presumed question bears
little or no resemblance to the actual one, which isn’t a great deal of help.
Resistance is useless, and then it says ‘goodbye.’ (It doesn’t even say ‘it was
nice talking to you’, which might at least ameliorate your frustration very
slightly. In fact, today’s cyber assistant didn’t even say ‘goodbye’, it just
said ‘Finish’ in big red letters.)
It seems this is yet another example of the corporate world
having its own way and making life increasingly dysfunctional. Isn’t it time we
got all the CEOs together and forced them to stand neck deep in ice cold water
– liberally populated by well fed piranhas which won’t feel well fed for very
much longer – until they come to their senses?
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