No more posts for a while yet. Something happened on August 31st, not very big in itself but enough to send the sub-atomic particles that make up my consciousness – or whatever it is that makes up consciousness – flying around in the ether. The result has been a strange week of introspection, realisation and revelation. I get these phases occasionally when I seem to be taken apart and re-assembled a little differently. This one feels big; I think I might have had sight of the first spark of Buddha-mind. Which doesn’t mean I have any intention of becoming a Buddhist, of course, since I don’t function that way, but it does mean that I’m not in the right mental state to communicate until I see what the new me is. It might be little different on the surface, but I don’t know yet. These periods of metamorphosis have happened several times over the last ten years, and the only person who takes them in her stride is Helen.
So, I might resume the blog when I’m ready, or I might not.
10 comments:
I feel the same way sometimes. Like I've been rearranged with the same pieces in different places. Amazing how big of a change in perspective that creates.
this is interesting, jj. it sounds great and strange and beautiful. i hope to read about it soon! i'd love to read about it all. :D
have a great weekend!
Zoe: I hope you don't fight it. Even the dark places it can lead us into can be most interesting when we see them for what they are.
Ace: Where did you spring from?! I continue to watch your highs and lows from the corner of the room.
The problem with these 'experiences' is that they exist beyond language. To someone inclined to want to describe everything, that can be frustrating. It's taken me a long time to be content with the experience.
Ah, I see. Good luck! I hope you find your own version of enlightenment. :)
Good morning, Maria, and thank you.
I think enlightenment is but one stage on the road home. It's an interesting road and I see no reason to hurry.
If that makes sense.
Is it an epiphany of sorts? You don't sound terribly happy.
I would say so, Lady I. Others would probably have me certified for breaking ranks. That's OK. I'm the only person responsible for me, and I'm the only person to whom I'm ultimately responsible. That's as long as I continue to play the game, of course. And I'm really not trying to be enigmatic.
I do feel happy, thank you - certainly happier than I felt in the days leading up to it.
The world can be quite a small stage sometimes, can't it?
Hi Jeff! MY dashboard is silent now. I am missing your posts, although this is good too:) This little journey you are going through reminds me that even adults change and grow, just like teenagers. yeah, the adults around me dont display much growth in character.
Good luck with all this and I hope you gain whatever satisfaction you are looking for!!
also, i just thought it might be interesting to add that I was absent mindedly listening to some Baroque inspired orchestral and piano music and I thought of you.
Hello Carms. One thing you and a few others have taught me is that the capacity for growth has little to do with earthly years. It goes deeper than that.
I'm still watching your blog, but comments aren't coming that easily at the moment. I'm still waiting for my own dust to settle.
Will try harder. Watch your space.
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