Not Such a Good Idea.

I have a thought as to how I might keep the locals with their Middle England values off my back. I attach a dog lead to a black plastic bin liner, and then ‘take it for a walk’ around the lanes. I would have to cultivate a range of looks that swing unpredictably between glassy-eyed, highly agitated and manic. I would have to stop and remonstrate with the bag every so often, telling it in no uncertain terms that it wouldn’t be getting any treats when we got back if it didn’t start behaving itself! That should do the trick, shouldn’t it?

Oh no, Sarah might see me. Don’t want her to think me strange, do I? And her cocker spaniel might take a romantic interest in the bin liner. Disaster.

I think I’d better think it out again.