But then the real things are pretty ugly and awkward, too. They’re the grubby bits at the end of the universe – the bits that are always somewhere over the shoulder, so we can pretend they don’t exist.
Somewhere over the shoulder
Way down low.
There’s a part of my body
No one would want to know.
Having a spotty bum is infinitely worse than having a spotty face. We acknowledge our faces, and having spots on them is unfortunate enough to evoke sympathy. Having a spotty bum brings into focus something we would prefer to remain out of sight and mind. There’s an essential disgustingness about it. Not that I would know, of course. Never had one.
Am I talking crap?
I was listening to Lucy’s playlist the whole time I was musing on, and typing, this. I like Lucy. She laughs.
Out, damned spot!
I think somebody should revise Shakespeare into colloquial English.
‘Hey, Mac. Sorry, old lad. Yer missus just topped ’erself.’
‘Happy days are here again, now we’ve got good old Ricky in charge.’
‘Bugger! Yorick was a mate of mine once.’
‘Oi! Romeo! Where the fuck are you, ya bastard?!’
Now I’m in a creative mood, and language is excusable in fiction.
6 comments:
Haha. I like how you tinkered with those. Btw no imposition@questions.I think buttocks is an endearing word though.
hahaha! very nice jeff :) That's a good point about the buttocks. Still, I'd probably prefer the spotty ass to the spotty face!
Lol, I dont know if I should be taking that as a compliment (you were talking about me, right? I dont want to embarrass myself, thinking Lucy is me when it's someone else. Just saying)- listening to my playlist while you thought 'strange' thoughts... hahaha
Actually, I'd intended to delete this post, but I don't do that if there are comments. My policy.
Dominique: Do you mean you don't want the imposition of questions, or questions aren't an imposition? You must understand that my knowledge of internet shorthand is little better than my knowledeg of Hindi. For me, buttocks is too similar to bullocks, only harder.
Jen: I suppose it depends on which bit you're planning to get closest to. Nearly used a smiley there!
You are my only Lucy, Lucy. I have a cousin with that name but I haven't seen her in over 10 years. Oh, and easily the prettiest girl in the local Waitrose supermarket is called Lucy. Suits her. I was listening to your playlist before I began having strange thoughts. Doesn't help much really, does it? Must stop watching the YT video of Land Down Under. It isn't good to feel so much younger again.
That wasn't internet shorthand. It was just sloppy phrasing. I meant your sort of gentle querying isn't an imposition.
Damn! Now I have the song 'Getting to Know You' running through my head. Stupid film. Thank you, Dominique. I will consider myself entitled.
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