The Tesco Spectre.

I called into Tesco in Uttoxeter today to pick up a couple of small items and took them to the self service checkout area. Like most supermarkets, Tesco has two rows of tills, one that’s marked up ‘Card Only’ and one that says ‘Card and Cash.’ Since I had only two small items, I decided to pay cash and waited for a till to be free.

And then I became aware of a movement in my peripheral vision. It grew larger as it approached me, like a spectre appearing from a closet in an old fashioned fairground Ghost Train. I took the positive option and turned to face it.

A young woman in a Tesco uniform was standing close, looking at me intensely but silently. I waited for a few seconds and then took what appeared to be the only available course of action: ‘Hello,’ I said. ‘Cash?’ she replied. ‘Yes.’ She retired to her corner, the air became breathable again, and I remembered one of my favourite lines from a movie:

If it be a nat'ral thing, where do it come from? Where do it go?