Money and the Next Step.

I was reading earlier about the latest computer hack striking at some of the world’s major corporations when a thought struck me:

Banks were invented to give people a safe place to keep their money, weren’t they? But with the development of computers and the internet, and the increasing sophistication of the hackers and their practices, maybe it would be safer to draw our money out of banks and keep it in a cardboard box on top of the wardrobe instead.

The trouble is, we can’t do that any more because the facility to pay by cash has become impracticable to the point of impossibility in so many areas. Cheques can still be used – although the practice is largely discouraged these days – or you can use a piece of plastic, a mobile phone, or a smart watch pointed in just the right direction. (Using a wristwatch to pay for your groceries… the mind boggles, doesn’t it?) But just imagine what’s coming next.

It won’t be long before supermarkets and other retail establishments discontinue the practice of having checkout operators. You will be required to load your purchases onto a conveyor belt while a smart little piece of technology hovers with omniscient aspect overhead and scans all the barcodes as the belt moves. (It will still beep, of course, so you know it’s alive, or maybe sing She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain When She Comes so you know it isn’t.) In either event, when the scanning process is complete you will be invited to look into the pair of eyes at the end of the belt, blink three times to verify your identity with The Database, say ‘in Google we trust’ for the purpose of voice recognition, state your National Insurance number to make payment, and then a smooth, velvety voice will say:

Thank you for shopping with us today. Your custom is greatly valued and you may now proceed to the exit gate where you will be allowed egress without fear of fatal electrocution. In the rare event of an electrical malfunction, the company, its management and colleagues, and all its affiliates and contractors, are hereby indemnified against claims for compensation and will in no case be liable for funerary costs. But for the purpose of maintaining the best of relations between us and our valued customers, we are prepared to reimburse the value of your purchases to your next of kin. They should go to www.ingooglewetrust.com and use the following unique password. Please memorise it because I will say it only once: qivx948?@!_goai***$aregood. A different but equally simple password will be given to the next customer in order to avoid any possibility of fraud. Goodbye and have a nice day.

You think I’m joking, don’t you? Well, I suppose I am, because the way the world is going suggests the possibility that we won’t have time to develop the software before what few of us are left will be transported back to the heaven of hunter gathering.