Friday, 8 November 2019

Failing the English Test.

There’s something of which I disapprove about modern retail culture. It’s the practice common among chain stores and coffee shops of forcing female assistants to wear name tags.

Why should I, as a mere customer, be permitted the presumption of knowing a woman’s forename when we haven’t been introduced? This is an English thing, of course, and I quite like certain English things.

The new girl in the branch of Lloyd’s Pharmacy next door to my doctor’s doesn’t wear a name tag, but she does quite impress me. I noticed when I first went in there (to pick up my statins which I’m now popping with gay abandon) that she has an unusually distinctive look. I discovered on Wednesday that she also has a vibrant personality. And she dresses stylishly. English or not, there are times when I really do wish that I was thirty or so years younger. I wonder what her name is.

Did I ever say that I become a different person after midnight? I could understand it if it was dependent on the moon’s phases, but it isn’t. It has more to do with Scotland’s major export.

I have my next procedure at the hospital tomorrow. How I do hate hospital procedures. I sometimes think they’re trying to worry me to death in order to reduce the drain on the beleaguered health service.

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