Shame on You, America.

For the past few days I’ve been trying to think up some way by which we might stop that imbecilic, egoistic windbag of a US President from coming here to pollute our green and pleasant land. I failed, so now I have to avoid even the BBC home news pages for the next three days because the very mention of him makes me mad as hell.

When America gave him the White House, they didn’t just inflict him on themselves. They set him loose to run amok everywhere. That’s why I’ve been avoiding the world news pages for a while, because every time I looked at them all I saw was Trump does this, Trump says that, Trump demonstrates his kindergarten mentality with childish threats and bellicose bluster. Sanctions here, sanctions there, Trump just can’t stop sticking his nose into other people’s business. And so on.

Americans, don’t you think you owe us an apology?