Layers and Me and the Lady B.

I had cause recently to look out a lot of the posts I made in the early days of the blog – roughly between 2010 and 2012. Much of what I wrote back then went into ‘serious’ issues covering a variety of fields from the political to the philosophical to the spiritual and the societal. I had a lot of visitors in those days, and a lot of comments came winging in ranging from congratulation and agreement to accusations of being opinionated. I spent a lot of time typing replies.

And then I developed an aversion to earnestness and the posts changed their character. The blog took on more of the tone of a little journal documenting the minutiae of a little life. Stories of likes and loathings and loves and losses dropped in like faded photographs falling from a fractured frame. Introspection and experiment came to the fore at the same time, and the result was much that was enigmatic, whimsical, dryly humorous and even surreal. A lot of people must have wondered what the hell I was talking about much of the time and the regulars fell away. Maybe they were disappointed or disgusted or simply dismissive. Whatever the reason, the comments count soon read 0, 0, and 0 ad infinitum. It saved me a lot of work.

And then it was time for the health issues to begin loading my perception with anxieties and frustrations and a prevailing obsession with mortality. Can any mindset be more introspective than that? And Darkness, and Decay, and the Red Death held illimitable Dominion over all. And maybe I might be allowed to add Depression to Mr Poe's alliterative set.

And yet still it seems I can’t go longer than a week without making some mention of the woman who used to bring sunshine into my life. I wonder how she managed to transcend the layers. I wonder what she’s doing now. I wonder whether she’s aware of the little ghost tripping along in her wake. I wonder how much of her presence was illusory. I wonder how long any of it will go on.

In the meantime, if I go missing it will probably be because I’m searching the arid sky for something silly to say (and the mood to encourage me to say it.) Back soon, I expect.