The last episode had me wondering: If I were in imminent
danger of death - and not wholly averse to the prospect because the future was looking black - but there was a means of escape, who would I want to
hallucinate into my presence to try to convince me to carry on? It wasn’t as
easy as you might think. It had to be people who aren’t here for real, people
who’ve been in my life but are now either dead or left. And they had to be
people I’ve connected with physically, people I’ve spoken to in the here and
now. Those I’ve only connected with through the medium of cyberspace couldn’t
qualify no matter how important they were – and in some cases still are – to
me.
I could only think of one.
And do you know what’s odd? For most of last year, dominated
as it was by the cancer issue, I felt a little concerned occasionally that my
number might be up. Well, today I did one of the heavier jobs in the garden –
through the heat which descended on us suddenly and has now gone again – and I
didn’t have a heart attack (or whatever it was that laid me on my back a couple
of weeks ago.) I got to thinking about my known prospects, and now I’m feeling
a little concerned that it might not be.
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