Monday 11 March 2019

Serious Complaints.

And now for something completely different:

I watch a lot of YouTube, and when you do that you get used to the fact that you can make a comment about whatever you’re watching when it’s finished. So that encourages the notion that you can comment on anything you watch, only you can’t. When I watch a TV programme or a DVD I find myself working out what I’m going to write in the comment section, only to be reminded that TV programmes and DVDs don’t have a comment section. And that irritates me.

And here’s another cause for concern: Plum jam.

I grew tired of strawberry, raspberry and blackcurrant jam, so I bought a pot of plum jam for a change. Problem: plum jam doesn’t really taste of anything because plums themselves don’t taste of very much even before they’re pummelled and squashed and boiled and sugared and subjected to whatever other indignities they’re forced to suffer in the jam making process. That’s a disappointment because now I have to go back to tasty-but-boring old strawberry, raspberry and blackcurrant (I dislike apricot, the local supermarkets don’t appear to stock greengage, and you can’t get orange, lemon or lime because the arbiters of our dear language insist – for reasons known only to God and Scotsmen – on calling it marmalade.)

When is life going to start treating me with respect?

We have another storm approaching. It’s called Gareth.

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