A Nurse With Something Lacking.

I went to the doctor’s surgery this morning to get my right ear syringed by the practice nurse. I’d been thinking for some time that I was going deaf, but the doc told me it was a just a build up of wax on the ear drum and so the appointment was made and kept.

I expected to get one of the Health Care Assistants, but was pleased to see that she was wearing the light blue tunic of an SRN. That meant she was a proper blue nurse. (Actually she was black, but you know what I mean. I encountered several black nurses during my hospital stays and was moved to tell one of them that black women have the best smiles – because they do – but this one didn’t smile.)

‘Will it hurt?’ I asked as she began the procedure.

‘No.’

It did. I thought of saying ‘you lied’, but thought better of it because I’d already gleaned the distinct impression that her professional competence was more than balanced by a total absence of humour. I thought I’d test my theory.

‘What do you do with ear wax?’ I asked.

‘It goes down the sink like everything else.’

‘You mean you don’t put it in the toxic waste bin?’

‘Why would we put it in the toxic waste bin? Ear wax isn’t toxic.’

See what I mean? No sense of humour.