‘Do you understand the risks of living with only one kidney?’
I don’t think I need to explain why this made me sit up and
pay attention. When a cancer was discovered in one of my kidneys the consultant
said:
‘We’ll just take the kidney out. You don’t need two; you can
function perfectly well with one. Some people are born with only one kidney.’
He said nothing about any risks (apart from the 1% risk of dying
on the operating table which made me smile because I find that sort of thing
amusing.) And the good doctors in New
Jersey didn’t elaborate. You have to wonder, don’t
you?
* * *
But today the spring was springing in earnest. The sun
shone, the air was mild, there was no wind to speak of, the new colour in the
garden glowed cheerfully, and the Harry Potter wood up the lane was looking like a fabled
greenwood at last.
But walking has become an issue of late because my left leg
aches badly when I do, especially going uphill. I suspect sciatica, but all the
time I’m waiting for the blood to start pouring out of one orifice or another.
Just about every patient in House gushes
blood from one orifice or another at some point in their diagnosis. Blood
coming from where blood shouldn’t come from is the show’s major leitmotif.
I don’t think I should watch House in my condition, but it kind of grabs you and won’t let you
go. And maybe it’s preparing me to deal with all those good doctors the next time
they feel the need to give me the benefit of their attention.
‘Will I need an LP?’ I’ll ask them.
What’s an LP?
‘A lumbar puncture, dummy. Did you sleep through med school?’
I might even attempt an American accent. I’m sure they’ll be
impressed.
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