YMCA

I’ve had a good idea for increasing the number of my followers. I should click the ‘Contents Warning’ button. That should appeal to a few people with salacious predilections, shouldn’t it? Then I could buy some Village People gear and pose in my garden with a meaningful look. What’s the betting the local rats would go scurrying for cover, deep inside the nearest briar patch?

‘Ooh, did you see him? He was wearing a leather thong.’

‘Mum, what’s a leather thong?’ asks the cute little four-day-old rattus rattus, who looks like a mouse with extra large eyes.

‘You don’t want to know, dear. It’s not very nice. And I had him down as such a regular sort of chap. What on earth is the world coming to?’

I do so love the wee small hours of the morning. Such a spur to the imagination.