The Cassanova of Carmountside Infants.

I was attending Carmountside Infants School at the time, so I must have been between five and seven years old. It was Christmas, and one of the young women teachers was standing on desks to hang decorations.

She came and stood on my desk, and I looked up her skirt. I knew – I just knew – that there was some reason why I should find this interesting, but I couldn’t for the life of me work out why. I felt irritated. And then I grew up.

The things we remember.