On Spring and Mixed Feelings.

You know, for me there comes a day every year when the reality of spring suddenly leaps out in front of me, smiles a broad smile, and says: ‘Boo. Have you missed me?’

It’s hard to say exactly what brings it alive and real, but I suppose it’s like a fine cocktail when just the right mixture of ingredients makes the whole greater than the sum of its parts. In the case of spring it’s mostly the growth in woods and meadows and hedgerows and verges. It’s reached a point of development when it looks substantial rather than merely aspirational. The colour green predominates and holds court over the varied hues of spring flowers – most especially the swathes of bluebells standing proud among the greening woodland – all bathed in wholesome sunshine and topped with a dressing of white cloud and azure sky. And finally there’s the piece de resistance: seeing the first few swallows of the season performing their unrivalled acrobatics. And so it was today.

And then a dark cloud entered my mind and placed a heavy hand on the burgeoning sense of optimism to which I’ve been sadly unaccustomed of late. I’m surrounded by breakdowns, malfunctions, and other sources of worry at the moment, the most immediate of which are the health issues. They’re growing in number and becoming more palpable, which obviously makes them more uncomfortable and burdensome. I decided to bite the bullet and make a doctors appointment, and what a frustrating affair that turned out to be. Three attempts at holding on until the recorded voice said ‘You are number one in the queue’ ended with some malfunction in the phone or with the signal, and the call was cut off. I decided to have my evening meal and try again. That one was successful and a date was set for May 16^th. I hope I’ll still be here. I expect I will.

But to end the ramble on a more positive note, I did something in honour of the season that I haven’t done since last autumn. I took an evening walk through the little wood at the top of the lane in search of a favourite horse on which to bestow the gift of raw carrot. That, too, was successful, and horse and I became re-acquainted after the long winter months. And the westering sun loomed large again.