Thursday, 23 April 2020

Today's Tepid Trivia.

In the garden:

At least one of the pairs of robins in my garden is now feeding a nest somewhere.

There are definitely more planes flying overhead to East Midlands Airport than there have been for several weeks.

The cock pheasant which thinks it has every right to steal the garden birds’ seed and rolled oats has learned what the word ‘no’ means.

The delinquent squirrels, on the other hand, continue to risk being hung by the scrotum from a tree in Rutland. I suspect their many crimes include digging the mysterious holes in my one and only vegetable patch.

Another nuisance is the lad who’s taken to riding a noisy quad bike around the field adjoining my garden several times a day. I assume he’s bored.

A cold beer still tastes splendid in a warm garden (as long as it’s quiet.)

Beyond the garden:

There’s a gang of unsavoury-looking men prowling the lanes of the Shire, filling bits of road with bits of tarmac. Their temporary traffic lights are a bloody nuisance.

My car keeps asking when he can go and be parked in Sainsbury’s car park again. He says there’s a neat little number who occasionally parks there and he fancies her a bit. I tell him I really don't know, and besides, he’s too old for that sort of thing. He says he doesn’t feel old so **** off!

The Lady B’s erstwhile abode now has a fancy wooden porch-roof-type thingy over the kitchen door. I have no idea why.

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