Monday, 20 April 2020

Idiots and Maniacs.

It appears George Carlin and I had a curiously exact parallel thought:

Have you ever noticed that everybody driving slower than you is an idiot, while everybody driving faster than you is a maniac?

(He probably said it first, but I swear I didn’t copy. I expect a few other people have thought precisely the same thing down the years, which doesn’t necessarily prove the existence of universal consciousness. But it might.)

I remember that winter night about ten years ago. I’d been to work in the city but had to take a detour to Ashbourne on the way back. Heavy snow had been falling most of the day and was still falling as I approached the steep hill coming back out of the town. It was dark, the snow was thick on the road, and visibility was restricted by the blizzard.

I always took a run at that hill (and still do) because the old cars I drove (and still do) lost around 15mph on the climb, and the night in question was no exception. I began the ascent at about 70mph.

Problem: there was an idiot going slower than me a little way ahead, and I didn’t want to settle in behind him for fear that the car might start slipping and sliding and I wouldn’t make it home. So what could I do but keep my foot on the gas, move out into the middle lane and overtake him? And that’s what I did.

I’ve little doubt that the idiot regarded the term ‘maniac’ an understatement in the circumstances, but I made it home.

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