Thursday, 30 April 2020

Something Missing.

It’s Beltane Eve and I have nothing to report. I had a fire as usual, but decided to have it in the afternoon because there were heavy showers about and I thought it better to pick a dry interlude than risk a deluge after dark.

Beltane Eve fires aren’t the same during daylight. There’s no magic around and no sight of verdant growth being illuminated by firelight. Maybe that’s why I got burned when I forgot that one of the fingers in my old gardening gloves has a hole at the tip. It still hurts.

And it’s not the only thing that has been hurting today. I’ve had toothache, backache, sore sinuses, several other minor twinges, and a feeling of being utterly washed out and in the throes of extreme fatigue. I suppose it serves me right for lighting the Beltane Eve fire before sunset. Maybe the gods or spirits or little people are exacting a fitting punishment. Or maybe I’m just getting old.

I remember earlier fires in my younger, fitter days, when the only ache I suffered was for the company of a certain exalted person. Her very presence among the green growth and the sight of her face lit by firelight would have made the occasion complete. It’s too late now; she no longer qualifies. And neither do I.

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