But there’s a drawback. Anybody who has seen the movie Moon will realise that three years
without company can be a bit galling even for a confirmed misanthrope like me.
It can send you off the wall in ways which are unpleasant rather than merely
interesting, which is why I feel ambivalent towards the prospect.
But now I’ve thought some more. This is the future we’re
talking about, isn’t it? There will no doubt be a vastly updated version of Skype
which will enable you to call up attractive young women from all over mother
earth and say ‘Hey babe, talk to me. I’m in orbit around a different planet.’
And when you’ve wooed her with your obvious charms, your sense of adventure, and
your clever misquoting of Mr Beeblebrox, she will probably be able to join you
in hologram form standing on the little round thing in the corner of the comms
deck. And when she sees how fit you are (because you use the gym a lot, right?)
she will readily agree to you joining her in Sydney or San Francisco or
Salford, or wherever she lives, when you next get back on leave.
Good idea? I think so. And you will, of course, hide the
sublime irony contained within this glorious idyll – that the world is now
ruled by women and the term ‘hey babe’ is a serious criminal offence, punishment
for which is to be sent off to explore the deep darkness of the cosmos as a
lone and unwilling astronaut (trust the women to bring back the press gang and
legitimise it with understandable feminist sensibility.) You wouldn’t want her
to know that it’s why you’re on this damn spaceship in the first place, would
you? You would rather she be impressed by your sense of adventure.
My posts all seem to be about death and the maidens lately,
don’t they? I hope to get back to my old self eventually, if and when my old
self manages to conquer the current mental and physical aberrations.
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