Friday, 23 September 2016

Tonight's Prayer (and the China Connection.)

Dear God (if you’re there)

Could you please show somebody how to make an antibiotic that doesn’t give me heartburn the moment I swallow it, and doesn’t have me burping like a streetwise pig for at least half an hour afterwards. I know I live on my own, but I’m still easily embarrassed.

Oh, and I suppose you’d better put that other request on hold for at least a few more days. (You know, the one about the Chinese girlie half my age who wants me to teach her everything I know about the bad side of western culture so she knows what to avoid. That one. Thanks.)

*  *  *

I watched a YouTube video once (several actually) about the difference between northern Chinese women and their southern counterparts. It’s a sort of Manchu vs Han thing (for anybody who was sitting up and taking notice during Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.) It seems that the northern ladies are more earthy, while the southerners are more worldly. The northerners are tougher and require respect of their beaus – which I could manage quite easily – while the southerners expect to be wined and dined, loaded up with lots of things made of gold, and provided with a truckload of fashion accessories at least once a week… which I couldn’t. The trick is in learning to tell them apart.

But this is all fantasy. If I were a few decades younger I could make it my mission in life to compare and contrast the two major strains of Chinese womanhood, purely for the sake of anthropological study of course. But I’m not, so all I can do is engage with YouTube in the hope of augmenting my wisdom base.

 Definitely southern.

 Manchu all.

Getting there.

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