1. I felt ill following the cystoscopy procedure and didn’t fully
recover until around bed time.
2. I didn’t see any Chinese people.
But today I got my wish. There was a Chinese woman in the
Co-op in Ashbourne, so I approached her boldly and said:
‘Would you mind if I wished you a Happy New Year?’
She looked at me for a few moments in that inscrutable way
for which the Chinese are – probably unfairly judging by my experience – much renowned
(but which is actually compellingly exotic when it does happen) and then said ‘Do you know what
year it is?’ ‘The Pig,’ I declaimed triumphantly. At that she relaxed, smiled
demurely, accepted my greeting, and said ‘Good.’ So then I told her what the
Chinese chef said in the TV programme yesterday (‘What does the Year of the Pig actually mean?’ ‘It will be a good year
for pigs’ – see yesterday’s post.)
It was a heart stopping moment. I hoped she would get the
joke, but I’ve no idea what the Chinese find funny, what they find offensive,
and what they find downright idiotic. Every culture has its own views when it
comes to humour. I waited with bated breath while she frowned and considered
the matter. Eventually she said: ‘That’s not correct.’ ‘I know,’ I said. And
then she walked away. It was fun while it lasted.
But blow me if I didn’t see a second Chinese person walking
towards me along the high street – an elderly woman with bow legs – so I
thought I’d try it again. ‘Happy New Year,’ I said. She smiled immediately and
said ‘thank you.’ And then she bowed to me.
Well, what is one supposed to do when a Chinese person bows?
I had no idea, so I nodded and ran away (well, walked briskly.) And when I saw
her again she ignored me completely. Cultural interchange is such a minefield
sometimes.
But I think the Lady Fu must have been well pleased (the
Lady Fu is my beautiful Chinese figurine who brings me good fortune when she’s
in the mood) because she proceeded to introduce me to three very attractive
young women over the course of the following hour, and amicable conversations
were had with all. Pity none of them were Chinese (although one did have the
most engaging pale blue eyes) but you can’t have everything, can you?
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