Getting to Know All About You?

You might remember in my recent ‘Today’s Journal’ post that I mentioned an e-mail from Australia that didn’t do much for my mood. It was because the writer made an offhand reference to a subject that pushes my horror button as few others can. It felt like mockery, but of course it wasn’t. I’m sure there was no volition involved; it was simply that the writer didn’t know what she was saying.

But that brings up an interesting point. When we’re getting close to someone, we ask them lots of questions about their history, their views, their likes and dislikes. We believe we’re getting to know them, but I’m not sure it works that way. What we tend to do is ask them about the things that matter to us, and so we’re not so much seeking a comprehensive understanding of the other person, but rather making sure they’re onside in matters which we consider important. And that can lead to some pretty big gaps in our knowledge.