I got to know Shakespeare’s Macbeth very well at school, and a lot of the lines have stayed with me all my life. The older I’ve got, one in particular has become ever more significant:
Fie, my lord, fie! A soldier, and afeard?
When a man attacks a man, he usually does so either physically, with logic, or with open insult. When a woman attacks a man, she tends to do it with mockery; and what she usually mocks is what she believes to be his notion of manly virtue.
The two sexes respond to feelings of jealousy differently, too. If a woman shows an interest in another man, her male partner is likely to call her a slut, a tramp, a whore, or some other term aimed at making her feel in some way inadequate and dirty - the point being that he attacks her direct, rather than attacking the object of her regard. A woman, on the other hand, is more likely to respond by belittling her rival. I’ve had this several times. One I remember in particular was:
‘How the hell can you be having an affair with her? She’s fat and ugly.’ (Which she wasn’t, by the way.)
The commoner one, though, is:
‘You do know she’s just using you, don’t you?’
I’ve had that one more than once, and it’s a good one because it questions both her rival’s integrity and her partner’s judgment. What’s more, it places doubt in his mind because, however much men like to mock the phenomenon of feminine intuition, deep down they quietly acknowledge it. And they’re also prone to recognise that women know other women better than they do.
This is a generalisation, of course, and it isn’t meant to be a criticism of women. Far from it. I repeat my belief that the feminine and masculine principles operate differently, and I think that when it comes to matters of the heart, women are cleverer.
And I do realise that this post is not personally edifying.
6 comments:
I don't think much of wives who insult the other woman rather than the man who made the vows to them.
The line I remember is "What, you egg!". It's not often that Shakespeare is unintentionally funny.
But is it cleverer to insult the other woman?
I remember doing Macbeth in my drama studies - I did it this year actually, playing the part of Lady Macbeth. She certainly has a way of mocking Macbeth into murder. In fact, she is one of the strongest women I have ever played, alongside Ruth in The Homecoming, of course. Have you read that play?
And as for men, the name-calling is often all they can grasp onto, and what women say often seems more logical - but this is coming from someone biased. :D haha.
HAHA, Also, the word verification for this comment started with "men". How ironic.
It's interesting though, isn't it Joanna, that Lady M had to bow out in the oblivion of off-stage insanity? A man's world?
If you're having an affair (meaning cheating on someone?) then your judgement has already unravelled.
I would attack you, really, if that were the case, because it's not necessarily her fault that you decided to be so idiotic.
And I have to say that if I were in the same situation, and someone made fun of me, it would work better than making fu of my partner. Because the latter would just make me defend him, thereby increasing my devotion. So i think men have it on this one.
First off, there can be lots of reasons for having an extramarital affair, Maria. It doesn't necessarily indicate an unravelling of judgement. Human relationships can be very complicated. Secondly, by attacking the man, you risk driving him further into the arms of the other woman. But if you encourage him to doubt the other woman's motives, you might make him think twice about continuing - if you still want him, of course. That's why I think most women's reaction in that situation (in my experience) is cleverer. And of course, as with most situations involving high emotion, you don't know how you'll react until (unless) it happens. Ah to be your age. All that fun coming up!
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