Musing on the Matter of Marriage.

When I look through the profiles of other bloggers, I’m struck by how many women list ‘my husband’ as one of their primary interests, or they include in their favourite activities ‘being with my husband and family.’ I wish I understood that mentality, but I don’t. I found marriage comfortable enough, but pretty boring really.

This isn’t meant to criticise people who like being married. That’s their choice and they’re entitled to it. What I do question is the presumption in many cultures – including ours still – that being married is not only a good way to live, nor even the best way to live, but the only way to live.

I suppose it comes down to the human need for safety in the comfort of conformity. It is, after all, effectively the sub-plot of 1984. That book isn’t just about the horrors of state control, but the psychological drive behind the development of state control. The Stepford Wives covers similar ground in a different way, as does Invasion of the Body Snatchers if you look beyond the shallow blind of alien menace.

It’s interesting to see how polarised western culture is now becoming, between those who cling ever more tightly to the notion of a predictable, homogenous society, and those who celebrate diversity and the questioning of received values. I’m even tempted to wonder whether the current increase in the divorce rate is not a symptom of social fragmentation and loose morality as is popularly supposed, but a sign that we’re starting to throw off the alien menace. Yes, I do realise that one of the worst effects of divorce is the difficulty it causes the children, but that’s because we’re still conditioned to the unquestioned rightness of the nuclear family. A different system would obviously work differently. Maybe it would work better. Who knows?

And I’m being serious again. Let’s see whether I can construct a little ditty to lighten up. It won’t be meaningful.