Oh dear (sigh) here we go again…
He took a look at the offending appendages. He checked this, he checked that, he asked questions, he mused a lot, he suggested various possibilities which included the fact that it might all be down to my current medication for an otherwise unrelated nuisance. He deleted said medication and substituted two more, and then said that I would need a further blood test to establish the condition of my liver.
Where is this going? Is this the start of yet more hospital adventures, a type of adventure which encourages entirely the wrong sort of adrenalin? I’m tired of it all, I really am. All I want from life now is peace, quiet, and the freedom live my little life in my own little world, rambling the Shire and planning my next incarnation as the Emperor of China (and any Chinese people reading this might like to be forewarned that things are going to change big time when I take over.)
And then there came a little mystery. When I got home my right ear started to hurt – on the outside, that is, not the inside, as though someone had given it a forceful knock with a baseball bat. I don’t recall the doctor doing that, so who did? And if nobody did, why did my right ear contradict the evidence of my memory?
I remembered the old maxim relating to situations when the ear exhibits inexplicable symptoms: ‘left for love, right for spite.’ (It seems to me that this maxim owes its popularity more to a subconscious recognition of the appealing nature of alliteration and rhyme, but you never know.) Is there somebody out there who hates me so much that my right ear is picking up the vibe? Is that too fanciful? Well, of course it is, but you never know.
It would be interesting to think that somebody hates me that much, but I can’t come up with a suitable candidate. Historically, probably, but not for the past few decades. I suppose it could be the woman who engaged me in conversation during my walk through the village this morning (or, to be more precise, the woman who arrested my perambulation and lectured me mercilessly on a variety of fascinating subjects, such as the fact that she doesn’t mind cold weather as long as it isn’t raining, and that her reading of world stock markets indicates that China is about to invade Taiwan. (I omitted to inform her that I was going to be Emperor one day, and that all would be for the best in the best of all possible worlds. Well, you would, wouldn’t you?) Eventually I managed to extricate myself from her clutches by mentioning that I had to go because I had a doctor’s appointment. What I omitted to say was that I had 4½ hours to kill first. Well, you would, wouldn’t you?
(The blood test is booked for 1st June by the way, and the follow-up appointment on 13th June. If anything noteworthy transpires I’ll report it here. That’s if here is where I still am, of course.)
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