But tonight I was made aware of something else: I have an even stronger aversion to an uncovered window loaded with condensation, as my kitchen window was after I’d cooked my dinner this evening. The aversion was strong enough to puzzle me, and I could only conclude that the darkness was still apparent but was being hidden by the congealed water vapour. Somehow that made it even more inscrutable and therefore more potentially menacing. I’ve no idea whether I’m right or not.
Oddly, however, I have no problem with going out into the darkness because then I’m part of it and have no reason to feel menaced. I learned that lesson many years ago when I had to get out of a car parked in a wood in order to relieve myself. I found the wood scary while I was in the car, but not at all scary once I got out. I think there might be a deep lesson to be learned here, or maybe it’s simply the fact of my being a little strange and growing stranger with the passing years.
* * *
Meanwhile, I’m growing tired of the health issues clouding my view of the future. I’m tired of Covid pollution still hanging in the air and getting thicker again. I’m tired of the impending assault on my financial integrity as the price of nearly everything rockets. I’m tired of the post-truth generation and its spawning of fake gurus trying to lure me into their pathetic webs with spurious propaganda. I’m tired of trying to avoid the traps laid by the corporate world in order that they should have more control over my life and lifestyle. And I’m particularly tired of a mediaeval-style Russian dictator apparently believing he’s justified in killing pregnant women and children and trashing the reputation of a whole population into the bargain. Making cheerful blog posts isn’t easy at the moment.
Today was a wet day and it turned cold as the light fell. Tonight’s twilight was not a pleasant twilight. No bats.
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