Milking the Itch.

Some time ago I made a relatively nondescript post to the effect that I occasionally suffer the irritation of an itch half way up my back in a place which is difficult to scratch without some kind of tool. I made light of the fact by referring to it as ‘the fairy-with-a-feather spot.’

Can you imagine my delight, therefore, when I discovered last night that this phenomenon is not only quite common, but even has a clinical name? It’s called Notalgia Parasthetica, and an opportunity now presents itself.

The next time someone asks me ‘how are you, Jeff?’ I can lay forth a description of my various health issues, as I usually do, but go on to augment it with a final, dramatic revelation:

‘I am now afflicted with a condition known as Notalgia Parasthetica.’

‘You poor old thing; that sounds awful. Does it inconvenience you greatly? Is there a cure?’

‘On the first count, yes. As to the second, I regret to say that the cause is little understood and so there is no cure. I manage it as best I can, and I’m assured that it’s rarely fatal. More than that I should prefer not to say.’