Sunday, 20 October 2019

Weighing the Evidence.

After I’d had my shower tonight I found a dead insect in the bathtub, apparently drowned.

(I say ‘apparently’ because I’m not a pathologist and so I didn’t perform a post mortem examination. It’s just that the bottom of the bathtub was wet and this thing looked all bedraggled and floppy, so I thought it reasonable to assume it had drowned. I do realise that evidence which is at best circumstantial would hardly get a conviction in a court of law, but it seemed reasonably convincing in the circumstances. May we assume, therefore, that the insect had drowned and move on? OK.)

It was one of those little flying things with a long, dangly bit which hangs down and swings back and forth as the insect dances in the last rays of the evening sun. I assumed it had got into my hair or something while I was gardening. And since I’d washed my hair while taking a shower, a picture of the tragic circumstances under which this little being had met its end seemed clear.

I was devastated, of course, as I always am when I have reason to believe that I have been responsible, albeit unwittingly, for the demise of a fellow traveller. But then I had a thought: if this creature had not become entangled in my hair and been lost to the world courtesy of the relentless flow of water from a shower rose, it might well have been eaten by a bat instead. So then I took to wondering which of the two causes of terminal effect would be preferable: being drowned or being eaten by a hungry carnivore. If it were me, I think I would prefer drowning. So then I felt better.

… until I considered the poor bat which had been denied a mouthful of sustenance in a cruel world in which survival is the primary imperative. Is anybody taking this seriously?

I did say that being me can sometimes be difficult, didn’t I?

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