Saturday 26 November 2022

Entering Hades With a Clean Sheet.

I received a small package in the mail a few days ago. It turned out to be a gift-wrapped something-or-other and a card from Mel, presumably for my birthday which is on Monday. No doubt she sent it early because of the postal strikes which are going on at the moment. And so, of course, I haven’t opened it because the relevant day hasn’t arrived yet. So should that matter or am I being pedantic? Well, to me it does matter, and here’s why:

Suppose I were to die before midnight on Sunday. In that case, the birthday for which the gift and card were intended would never come to pass because birthdays are only applicable as long as you’re alive. Ergo, the opening of a card and gift intended for a now non-existent birthday would amount to fraud, and then I would have to go to the next world with a criminal indictment sitting on my shoulder. What chance of a seat at the top table then?

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