On the Mail, the Monarch, and the Mangy Warrior.

King Charles has been in hospital for a couple of days, undergoing a standard and fairly minor procedure to treat a swollen prostate. Today’s Daily Mail, being ever in the tabloid vanguard, printed a huge picture on the front page of Queen Camilla (how strange that combination of title and name still sounds) smiling and waving regally (!) The caption read: Camilla’s Smile Tells Us That the King is Well.

I could hardly contain my joy, as you might imagine. I very nearly did a Rubiales on the nearest female shelf filler in Tesco. (Those of you unaware of the story of Rubiales and the kiss haven’t been reading the sports pages for the past six months.)

The other feature on the front page had a picture of that arch clown and ne’er-do-well Boris Johnson claiming that he is ‘prepared to fight for King and Country.’ (The military top brass in the UK are joining forces, you see, to warn us that we should be establishing a citizens' army to be ready for when the Russians start WWIII.) Seems to me that if Boris Johnson is typical of what we aspire to produce with such an army, the Russians should be well pleased. You have to laugh, don’t you?