Friday, 20 August 2021

Unresponsive.

I went for a blood test today and the nurse didn’t find my joke funny. I’ve seen her before and she never does, so I tried my back-up technique: the compliment. I told her that I grade nurses by the amount of pain I don’t experience when they stick needles into me, and that she was top drawer. She didn’t respond to that either.
 
The thing is, you see, when your face has reached that point where even a female orang utan wouldn’t give you a second glance (except to laugh, maybe), all you’ve got left is your sense of humour and your capacity to extend honest compliments. If neither elicits a response, the only course left is to say ‘thank you’ and leave. So that’s what I did. She didn’t turn around or say ‘have a nice day’ or anything. I hope the blood didn’t curdle or I might have to go back. On the way out I saw one of these in the waiting area:
 
 
You know, there really are times when I wonder why I’m still here.

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