Winning the Argument.

My mind this morning was full of seething condemnation of Big Capitalism – its selfishness, its greed, its underhand tactics, and the way it tragically divides society. I had a long post all written up in my head and ready to go. And then I became busy with other things and forgot all about it. When I stopped being busy and remembered it, the thoughts were fractured, the words badly jumbled, and I realised that nothing will change until The Great Cataclysm hits (which probably won’t happen until I’ve shuffled off the present mortal coil) so I didn’t bother. Instead, I thought I’d mention something of much greater personal significance.

*  *  *

In the early hours of this morning, while the imp of mild inebriation was perched on my shoulder being impish, I wrote an email to the priestess for the first time since last autumn. The imp was all for me pressing the send button, and wasn’t at all pleased when the muse of common humanity kept whispering in my ear that sending it would be an act of selfishness. ‘Hang selfishness! he intoned petulantly. (Actually I seem to recall he used an expletive). Selfish is good. Send the damn email.’

Mistress muse was not to be outdone, however. ‘Leave it until the morning,’ she advised. ‘Sleep on it. It’s usually the best policy when ambivalence is creating eddies in the water of self-control. Consider the matter in the morning.’

By that time it was getting late and even the imp’s eyelids were drooping, so I went to bed.

When I booted up the computer this morning I made the decision. I do rather like my little imp; he can be fun at times and I wouldn’t want to lose his company altogether, but he generally has less energy in the cold light of day. The muse, on the other hand, is wide awake. She stays silent but gives me the look – half warning and half smiling, as you might expect – and is all but irresistible. I decided that I dislike selfishness and I dislike selfish people, so I didn’t send the email.

(But it’s still sitting in ‘drafts’ just in case…)