The Dicky Heart Issue.

I spent a few hours yesterday in the company of my daughter and two of my grown up granddaughters. I’m very lucky in having a family – small though it is – who are on a wavelength with me when very few other people are. We talked a lot, mainly about international politics, the meaning of life, spiritual matters generally, and the fate of the dead. We came to few conclusions because people like us generally don’t. The search is all-important to us, and we know that the search always leads to a bottomless pit.

And of course, when I leave such company my own search continues in the same bottomless pit but with a few new angles to consider. It also leaves me feeling dizzy, probably in consequence of having a dicky heart. A radiographer once told me that talking puts pressure on the heart, and mine doesn’t seem to take kindly to very much of that.

And talking about dicky hearts, my body hasn’t yet fully recovered from the shock to which it was exposed during that unfortunate incident with the ladder on Sunday. It surprised me, you know, it did. I’ve had lots of falls since I moved to this house, mostly off ladders and on ice during the winter, and none of them affected me like that one. I also played rugby for more than twenty years. How many physical assaults do you think the body is subjected to in every game? I used to think nothing of it, but not this time.

I’m blaming the old heart and its underperforming left ventricle for that one, too. Seems I must now avoid physical shocks and taking part in extended discussions. Heaven know what would happen if I woke up in bed one night to find a Japanese woman wearing a long white shift, and with long black hair covering all or half her face, sitting on my bed and regarding me impassively. I think I’d better think not about it.

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None of that was very interesting, was it? But I do so feel the need to keep this blog active, and I suppose it makes me prey to clutching at straws. I decided to start this one because I had something more interesting (or enlightening or something) to finish on, only now I’ve got here I can’t remember what it was. Can dicky hearts make a person forgetful? I suppose they probably can.

Edited to Add:

I just remembered what I was going to finish on. Maybe tomorrow. Right now it's a short email and then my nightly YouTube session.