Two Woeful Tales and a Better One.

The advert shows an attractive young woman with the sort of eyes which tell you she knows what she’s about. Her torso is naked save for a sports bra. She’s in a gym, wearing boxing gloves and working out. The tag line reads: 

 What moves you

Makes you

As sound bites go, that’s not a bad one. It’s a simple philosophical statement which has merit. The only other words appear on a button below. They say:

Shop Now

Ah, I see. So the only things which move us and give validity to the dictum are things we can buy. Got it now.

*  *  *

I have a Hoover vacuum cleaner and need new bags for it. The only place I’ve ever found them in this area is the Argos store in Uttoxeter, but they’ve been out of stock for at least several weeks. I asked one of the assistants if he knew whether Hoover still supplied that type of bag. He didn’t, but he gave me the phone number for Hoover Customer Service. I called the number yesterday.

I was given no option to speak to a customer service assistant (I sat through the interminable recorded message twice just to be sure.) I was told to go to the Hoover website and select the option for live chat, so that’s what I did. I typed my enquiry into the dialogue box and an obvious robot repeated it back to me. Upon confirmation, I was told that I would be transferred to an assistant who would handle my query. What I actually got was a page informing me that I must take out a subscription before the matter could be progressed. The subscription fee was £1 and I would need to enter my card number.

Thinks: Hoover expects me to pay them money, even if it’s only £1, just to ask a simple question about a supply issue? This is pure Alice in Wonderland.

I went back to the offending page and read on. It told me that the £1 would be valid for only three days, after which I would be charged £30 a month to continue the subscription. I vowed never to buy another Hoover product as long as we both shall live. And I won’t.

*  *  *

This brings up the old question again: Was Karl Marx right when he asserted that capitalism will one day destroy itself through its own greed? Can you imagine what life will be like in the west if Big Capitalism does implode, at least for a considerable time until a better system is developed? It won’t be pleasant. Thankfully, I expect I’ll be dead by then.

*  *  *

Off to read more of The Thirteenth Tale now. The narrator has just arrived at the big old house located on remote moorland somewhere in Yorkshire, and the imposing figure of Vida Winter (the world-famous author who wants a biography written) has appeared silently behind her. I presume this where the description of the novel as ‘gothic’ begins. Tee hee. Can’t wait.