A Book and Some B******t.

In my last post I mentioned that I’d ordered a book online and was awaiting delivery. Shortly after publishing the post I received an email telling me that the book had been picked and despatched. Fine, so far.

So let’s ask what exactly is involved here. I order a second hand (or ‘pre-loved’ as they now like to call it because simple, honest descriptions are anathema these days) book costing a mere £4. I pay for it and now they’re sending it to me. That’s it; a simple transaction. If I’d bought it from a bookshop the assistant would have put it into a paper bag, handed it to me and said ‘Thank you. Goodbye.’

Not the modern online retailer…

The subject line of the email begins: Great News. Why is it ‘great’? I suppose it’s a small mercy that they didn’t add two exclamation marks after this startling announcement, but it’s still a bit over the top. And it gets better. The text of the email begins: Your order is on its way! (they didn’t forget the exclamation mark that time). We hope you’re as excited as we are. Excited? Bemused, more like.

Why do they do it? The corporate world. Why? Do they really have such little regard for the intelligence and general adroitness of their customers? Or could it be their version of Have a nice day! (The exclamation mark is mine, I admit, but I think it’s reasonably inferred.)