I went for a blood test today and the nurse didn’t find my
joke funny. I’ve seen her before and she never does, so I tried my back-up technique:
the compliment. I told her that I grade nurses by the amount of pain I don’t experience
when they stick needles into me, and that she was top drawer. She didn’t
respond to that either.
The thing is, you see, when your face has reached that point
where even a female orang utan wouldn’t give you a second glance (except to
laugh, maybe), all you’ve got left is your sense of humour and your capacity to extend
honest compliments. If neither elicits a response, the only course left is to
say ‘thank you’ and leave. So that’s what I did. She didn’t turn around or say ‘have
a nice day’ or anything. I hope the blood didn’t curdle or I might have to go
back. On the way out I saw one of these in the waiting area:
You know, there really are times when I wonder why I’m still
here.
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