On the Hiatus.

I’m feeling ever guiltier about the people who keep dropping onto my blog even though there’s nothing new to read here. And somebody whose opinion I value told me this morning that, notwithstanding my preoccupation with current and prospective worries, I should continue to blog anyway ‘for the sake of others.’

The sake of others? In what way does my blog benefit others? I’m not qualified to be a guru. I’m not sufficiently erudite to mimic the academic. I don’t give advice because I consider it presumptuous. I don’t even really know very much, but merely have instinctive reactions to things which I observe and which move me (like some asshole from the American political establishment bad-mouthing my heroine Greta Thunberg, for example.) I’ve said before that my reason for writing this stuff is because writing is what I do, and because throwing thoughts out into the ether is slightly more satisfying than bouncing them off a cold and impassive wall.

And there’s something else: When you’ve gone a long time without writing a post, revising the habit isn’t as easy as simply carrying on where you left off. I don’t know why; it just isn’t.

And yet I still feel guilty and inclined to apologise. So… sorry.

I did have a good thought this morning, though. I was suddenly swamped by the realisation of how precious the priestess is. That’s good because I need the occasional reminder not to take the special ones for granted. We probably all do. And I’m still questioning the fact that I constantly declined her request to finally meet me in person after all these years of corresponding by email (she’s been in the UK for the past three weeks.)  I did so for several reasons – not least being the fact that I didn’t have a clue as to where I might obtain a Phantom of the Opera mask – but I still can’t decide whether I did the right thing because we were never meant to meet, or whether I missed the opportunity of a lifetime.

Meanwhile, my life is set to change significantly tomorrow. We’ll see what comes next.