A Brief Intake of Air.

It’s occurred to me to wonder whether anybody has questioned the fact that I haven’t written any posts for several weeks. I don’t suppose they have because I don’t see any reason why they should. And yet tonight I feel the urge to say something again, even if only to explain it to myself (or the wall if it’s listening.)

For the past few weeks I’ve been in a bit of a strange place – and still am. It’s a little like being lost in the middle of a dark wood with a heavy mist obscuring everything beyond a few feet and no footpath in sight to offer the prospect of moving on. My usual compulsion to talk has been lacking and I’ve had nothing to say anyway. I’ve been spending my evenings with some good friends from another dimension, but on Sunday I decided it had to stop and said goodbye to them.

Maybe it was because I saw a woman walking a dog up the lane that day, a woman who disappeared mysteriously in the few seconds it took an oncoming vehicle to obscure my view of her. Or maybe it was the object I found under my living room table, an object which had no right to be there and the explanation for which remains elusive. But at least I’ve had no further encounters with my friend the Grim whose acquaintance I made last winter, nor the swarm of black butterflies which appeared in my bedroom a couple of months ago.

No doubt any person reading this will wonder whether I’m succumbing to psychosis. Well, I have no proof either way, but I’m quite certain I’m not. Something odd appears to be going on in my life, and I suspect it’s boding some change of direction one way or another. Time will tell, of course.

In other news:

This coming Thursday is a big day for me on the health issue front. It’s frightening, and yet it has a curiously thrilling aspect to it. I’ve also encountered a woman on YouTube who is drawing out my need to communicate with a fellow deviant. This is relatively unusual for me and I wonder how it will end. What worries me is that if it ends in tears, I’m sure they won’t be mine. And then there’s the back pain I’ve been suffering as a result of overstretching myself in the garden while not yet fully through the post-operative stage. My friendly consultant told me I still need to be taking it easy, and when I explained that gardens are not in the habit of waiting he smiled. Ah, and then there’s the case of my curiously crotchety internet connection which countless calls to my ISP and three visits from telecoms engineers have failed to correct. And that’s not the only electronic something-or-other which has been doing odd things lately. I daresay those who think themselves possessed of arcane knowledge will be drawing conclusions.

So, that’s a bit of an explanation for my silence. Does it represent the resurgence of my blogging habit? I don’t know yet. Time, as usual, will tell.