On Meghan's Munching.

Today’s BBC News website is headed by pictures of the royals arriving at Sandringham church for the Christmas Day service. They’re all dolled up in their posh outdoor gear, of course, and it struck me that between them they’re probably wearing about as much as five bus drivers get paid in a year. But then my sardonic irritation turned to a chill of horror.

The group included Prince Harry and that American actress he’s planning to wed. Do you realise she probably eats her food by holding her fork upside down in the wrong hand? Imagine the mortified and icily silent stares which must greet her presence at royal banquets. I venture to guess that Her Majesty the Queen is not all amused, and it certainly would never have been allowed when I was a boy (it’s my considered opinion that such was the real reason why Edward VIII had to abdicate over his affair with Mrs Simpson.)

Maybe Ms Markle will have the good grace to take her Christmas dinner alone in a private anteroom. It would require the engagement of extra staff, of course, which would precipitate yet further cost to the beleaguered exchequer. But if the royals can spend the annual income of five bus drivers on outdoor apparel, how much more valuable a return would be represented by the maintenance of proper standards for which we are all eternally grateful.