Tuesday 12 March 2024

The Dichotomy of Spring Markers.

The weather turned in Britain today. The chill winds relented and calmer, milder weather moved in preceded by yet more rain.

(It’s been a very wet winter and the land has been saturated for three months now. The cereal crops have suffered badly in some of the fields, and I fully expect to read that wheat and barley prices will be high later in the year. That means dearer bread, cakes, cereals, beer, and whisky to name but a few of the affected products.)

And the downside of this combination of warmth and wetness was that I was harassed by midges for the first time this year. Apart from wondering how many insects you’re breathing in during the onslaught, the real nuisance is the way they go for your eyes. I wonder whether anybody has thought of inventing a human version of those hoods with gauzy eye sockets which people put on horses during the summer midge season. Or maybe I could set a trend by wearing swim goggles on my morning walks. If the locals think I’m a fruitcake anyway, what difference would a pair of poncy swim goggles make?

In other firsts – the wood anemones are showing their first blooms in the little wood at the top of the lane, I saw the first bee of the year today, but I also saw the first ant in the garden. I’m sorry to say that I dislike ants quite a lot and my garden is overrun with them during the summer. That’s where the dichotomy comes in. Must make sure I’ve got plenty of white spirit to smear on the wellies I wear for digging. Ants are known to dislike white spirit and are generally reluctant to associate with it.

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And here’s an odd thing: Why is there a region of London called Waterloo? Well, no doubt it was named after the area where the battle took place between the allies (mostly British) and the French in 1815. But it occurred to me today that the word ‘loo’ is the commonest colloquialism for toilet (previously lavatory, and WC – water closet – before that. Forget that they’re called ‘heads’ in the navy. There is a logical reason, and sailors are a strange bunch anyway.) And the term ‘loo’ is derived from ‘l’eau’, the French for water. So why would somebody combine the English for water with the anglicisation of the French for water, and name an area in Belgium after it? Never thought of that before.

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I think that last paragraph is probably the most tedious I’ve ever written. Blame it on the fact that I got up three hours earlier than usual this morning in order to accommodate the young man from the land agent who had been sent to do a ‘property survey.’ So I’m tired. And I do wish they would leave me alone and stop sending young men to irritate me with their property surveys, especially when it means I only get five hours sleep the previous night. Dropping and signing off.

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