Questioning the Motives.

I decided to brave the storm that was still raging this morning and took the old car to the big city for its annual test. While I was there somebody thrust five £10 notes into my hand by way of recompense for some work I did for him last summer. I’d quite forgotten the matter so I chose to regard the money as an unexpected windfall.

On the way back I called into Uttoxeter to get a few things I needed from one of the discount stores, and as I walked across the high street I saw a young man wrapped in a blanket with a sign which read: I am homeless and need your help. God bless you. Since I’d just received a windfall, I felt it would be a good thing to share it and so I gave him one of the £10 notes. My still, small voice went into inquisitorial mode and asked me three questions:

1. Did you give him that money entirely for his sake or to make yourself feel worthy? I answered: ‘Both.’

2. That man didn’t have the look of a beggar. Does it trouble you that he might be lying and is simply trying to cheat people into giving him money under false pretences? I considered the question at some length and eventually answered: ‘No. His motives are his responsibility; I can’t be held accountable for them. If I’m right in my suspicion that karma is a fact of life, then his dishonesty – if such it be – is for his karma to deal with. Mine is secure.’

3. If the money you had in your pocket was a windfall – something you didn’t expect to receive today – and you chose to accept his assertion that he was homeless, why didn’t you give him all of it? I struggled with that one, and eventually had to accept that I still retain a degree of selfishness.

The third was the real lesson because it demonstrated that I still have some way to go before I can truly be what I would like to be. And since I so dislike sanctimony, I chose to be content with the fact.