Take today, for example. I was struck by the sight of
several moths feeding on the fragrant phlox flowers at twilight. Such a sight
has always given me a lift, but this evening it seemed as though a sudden –
albeit imagined – foul smell hung in the air to obscure the pleasure of the
perception. I seem to go through life constantly watching Peacock butterflies
drowning in the birds’ water bowl.
Seeing the Lady B and her daughters last Wednesday was a
rare exception. No pollution there, just sunshine as usual. But it’s five or
six months since I last bumped into the Lady B and it will probably be another
five or six months before I bump into her again. Five or six months is a long
time to wait for a few minutes of relief from pollution.
Of course, things would be different if she knocked on my
door and said: ‘My dearest Jeff, come ease your troubles by laying them at my
feet. Let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the deaths of kings.’
Only she wouldn’t say that because Lady Bs don’t. That’s the
sort of thing people like me say because people like me have to think and
observe and think some more until we get headaches and become guilty of
overthinking. And overthinking doesn’t just make you depressed, it makes you
pretentious as well. And then nobody you want to knock on your door does so
because they don’t know what the hell you’re all about and what they should do
with you. I should know: I get welcome people knocking on my door about as
often as Donald Trump gets his misbegotten words in the right order.
I wish I could follow the Rinpoches’ advice and just let go,
only I can’t because I was born to be an incredible pain to myself (and I’m not
sure that it would necessarily be a good idea anyway.)
At this point I suppose I should explain why I think that
all philosophy is essentially worthless, and all philosophers, therefore,
essentially pointless. Only I’m not going to because I can’t be bothered.
There’s whisky in the jar at this time of night.
7 comments:
I need you to be at peace no more overthinking I need you to be at peace.
.
The problem for me is that I was born with a very high IQ, and I know that’s nothing to boast about. A high IQ is just one of many attributes a person can be born with, and I don’t think it’s even the most important. The people I value are those who possess compassion, selflessness, kindness, and the courage to stand their ground while striving to make life better for one person or a lot of people.
And the problem with having a high IQ is that it tends to chain you to the thinking process. Thinking is what you do. Thinking is what life’s about, and so you naturally tend to overthink everything. Sometimes you think so much that you end up with questions which are too complex or arcane to answer! It isn’t easy to push this aside and find peace, even when you realise that it’s what you need to do, because then you’re fighting against your natural instincts. But I do try (sometimes) and I appreciate the thought.
I know JJ,I know because I tend to suffer more in my emotions and thoughts than I do physically,but am learning to be a bit more stoic.I figured it was about time I mastered my emotions rather than have them consume me.
I need you to try harder JJ.
https://youtu.be/xyY4IZ3JDFE
The attempt not to overthink things has become a routine response to me now, but I think the tendency to be ruled by your emotions is different – connected in some way, but more genetically entrenched. If having a high emotional faculty is how you’re made, it seems that trying not to be driven by it is like trying to make a river flow backwards. It’s also easy to confuse being driven by your emotions with being guided by your intuition, and being guided by intuition seems to work well for a lot of people.
I liked the YouTube clip, by the way. You seem to have tapped into my taste for introspective music combined with evocative images. It seems to me that music must be a major interest to you, since the sort of stuff you come up with suggests you probably explore a lot.
Hello Caroline. I often think about you and wonder how you and the boys are coping with the continuing curse of Covid. (Excuse the alliteration. It's a sad old writer's habit of mine.)If you should get this message, I would love to know how you are.
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