Observing an Odd Reaction.

There was a small brass band playing Christmas carols in Victoria Square, Ashbourne today. I heard them as I walked through the alleyway which leads there from the marketplace. And as the strains of a long-remembered tune evoked recognition of the seasonal theme, an unfamiliar feeling came over me. I’m no stranger to sadness and I’m no stranger to the indigo touch of melancholy, but this seemed to be an unusual combination of the two. I think the expression ‘mild desolation’ would describe it fairly well. I even began to feel openly emotional, and that disturbed me because I was at a loss to know why. I wondered why I should be so affected by nothing more than a brass band playing Christmas carols. I don't even like brass bands.

After a couple more tunes they took a break for coffee while I continued to smoke my cigarette. And then they began again, this time with a spirited rendition of Joy to the World. At that point my mildly emotional state grew to a point where it wanted to burst forth, and so I hurried away because public displays of emotion are not be countenanced if you’re a man still in possession of some self-respect. I carried on to my next port of call where I excused the hint of dampness in my eyes and my slight sniffing habit by reference to the chill December air.

I wonder what that was all about. I hardly knew at the time and I still don’t. But life and the day moved on without resolution, and no doubt observation of the world without and the world within will continue unabated.