Lydia (and Things.)

I met Lydia and Gwen in the lane today. Lydia is a young woman who lives with her man and baby daughter further down the lane. Gwen is her new whippet puppy. Gwen was very wriggly and most anxious to meet the new human; Lydia wasn’t.

But she was amiable enough in a quiet sort of way, and I wanted to tell her that I’ve never known a woman called Lydia (nor even a man come to that.) The only Lydia I’ve ever come across was the subject of Groucho’s famous song, the one that goes Lydia, oh Lydia, oh have you seen Lydia? Lydia the tattooed lady. I would have sung it to her as well, but she seemed anxious to move on and who can blame her? But at least I got a dog fix out of the encounter.

Later on it occurred to me to wonder whether anybody has yet referred to me as ‘the old chap who lives up the lane.’ I wouldn’t like that very much. I’d prefer it if they said ‘…you know, that bloke who looks like he belongs in a bell tower.’ One of my favourite ditties is the one that begins: When you look like Quasimodo and your eyes have lost their glint… It’s on the blog somewhere.

And I saw the Lady B twice driving her car. I couldn’t tell whether she waved or not. I did.

Watching and Being Watched.

I was standing outside Sainsbury’s today, idly observing the flotsam drifting past on the way to the store. I saw a young couple, and the question presented itself as it has been doing since I was a teenager: what is a woman like that doing with a man like him? I’m quite good at understanding women, but their choice of partners has always been a mystery to me.

*  *  *

But then a young woman of around twenty walked past – tall, slim, and a natural blonde. Natural blondes are relatively rare in the UK, and so I wondered whether she was a Nordic or even a Pleiadian. I’ve been taking an interest in extra-terrestrials lately, you see, and am beginning to learn a bit about the different species. These include the Pleiadians, the Greys, the Tall Whites, the Reptilians, and the Nordics (who I gather are thought to be descendants of earlier Pleiadians if my memory serves me right.)

According to those in the know, these extra-terrestrials have been living on earth since before modern homo sapiens colonised it. Some stay hidden, while others move freely among us using various disguises to remain hidden in plain sight. This doesn’t, however, apply to the Nordics who look so like the people of the Nordic countries that we can’t tell them apart. It’s why they’re called the Nordics.

So that was interesting, especially when it occurred to me that if these ETs have been around for as long as that, maybe they could make a case for calling us the aliens.

*  *  *

Earlier today I was in a charity shop perusing the merchandise when I noticed a woman nearby, also perusing the merchandise, accompanied by a baby in a buggy who stared and stared and stared at me. It was a bit freaky being stared at by a baby. We don’t know what they’re thinking, do we? We don’t know to what extent they’re capable of rational, or even judgemental, thought. They might even be highly psychic at that age and be reading our thoughts, or watching a picture reel of our lives to date so they know all about us.

 

I tried a tentative wave but received no response. Freakier still.